SeoulBrother

• There’s a special relationship between patient and dentist that can only be properly expressed by oral fisting. #
• When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I bought a skateboard. #

• “ADOBO Somethin’ somethin’ RUM sumphin PEACH SAUSE somethin PLANTAINS?” “Oh, HAIL YES.” Someone’s panties’re droppin’ tonight & it’s ≠ Moltz #
• I’m going to start nudging the shit out of the webcocks because it’s the one feature I haven’t thoroughly abused yet. #
• @jdickerson Gives new meaning to “Secret.” “Secret™ Muslim — Never let them see you PRAY TO THE EAST FIVE TIMES A DAY.” #
• @tj Douché, my friend. Douché #

• Anyone else out there find it funny that, just yesterday, @nevenmrgan felt it necessary to apologize for _anchovies_? #
• CineRemix: Do the Right Thing :: Do the White Thing or my thoughts on The New Yorker cover http://bit.ly/FistBump . #
• @FarkerPeaceboy hey, have you ever heard of docking? #
• @awryone Re: Docking. Doesn’t hurt to try does it?
  …
  Well… #
• My “Honey Do” list for the week:
  1) Honey

  Aww yeah, bitches. I got it like that. #

• @fedge A Subaru Forester in the garage. #
• @califmom Up top, down low. #
• @bobfraser1 Thanks. I would’ve been run out on a rail if I overlooked HV. #

• The cover is great, what surprises me is that _The New Yorker_ has balls. #
• Damn. The ire of Merlin and derision from Gruber in little more than a weekend. They should change their name to Fuckt. #
• Fortune cookies are much more reliable for emergencies http://twitter.com/FarkerPeaceboy/statuses/812325371 via @FarkerPeaceBoy #
• I get the sense that Moltz and Gruber are doing the same podcast tonight. I also get the sense that I check Twitter too often. #
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world “thought leaders” exist.
  Also, hobo vagina. #
• OH: I can’t get that new Hobo Vagina song out of my head. The hook is infection, er, infectious. #
• OH at Murky Coffee: Yes, I’ll have an ICED, double, tall, hobo vagina latte. Oh, with soy. Did I say “ICED?” #
• When Hobo Vagina becomes President we’ll finally be rid of that Bush douche. #
• “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our Hobo Vagina!” - Method Man #
• And it aaaaallllll comes back to Japan with @scottsimpson. Wow. Didn’t see that coming. ホーボーバジャイナ！ #

• I love how the day after its premier, _Generation Kill_ is available to rent [sic]. #
• I, for one, will welcome our Secret Muslim Overlords. #
• @strutting Huh, huh, huh *HA* #
• @lonelysandwich on the iphone, zoom into the cock (you should be familiar with this), click the “add bookmark” + sign. #
• enormous- adj. very large in size, quantity, or extent : _I had an enormous weekend._ #

• @nevenmrgan are you getting a back massage or something? #
• Every time I begin, “It occurs to me…” Sweets finishes, “… that you’re gay.”
  Honey, I’m gay for you.
  Happy 5th Anniversary

  Love,
  SB #

• _*MOUTH-BREATHING IS A CHOICE*_ #

• The slow trickle of e-mail to my .mac/mobileme account is almost zen like. Except they’re 6hrs late and coming in at random. #
• @chockenberry Fave Mobile Twitterrific feature—The mini-browser. Keeps things tidy but better, it doesn’t force Safari to put out. Respect. #
• Folks, remember the phrase “But, but, but I *LOVE* you!” doesn’t erase the crazy. Run, don’t walk. Think rattlesnake or hornets nest. #
• The AppleStore on launch day is like a glory hole for nerds. #
• Oh wait. That’s @Moltz’s lawn. #
• “Can’t we all just get a dick/poop/fart/vag joke?” - Rodney King #
• Is it wrong that every time I see a brother in a Ford Bronco I think of the 1994 NBA finals? You know Knicks v. Rockets. #
• The Wire: Season 6
  CORNERBOY (V.O.): I got dat Supa Unleaded wit Techroline, yo!
  CORNERBOY2 (V.O.): Yo, yo! I gots dat good Exxon! Exxon! #

• @Moltz Hahahaha, um, dancing like a monkey must be funny then, right? Until you’ve been there… shush it. :) #
• Hiding Sweets’ Care Bear collection. The last time @Moltz came over, he ruined them. There are some things you can’t explain away. #
• Hot FaXXX - The Director’s Cut. http://www.vimeo.com/1310939 #
• Hey, hey. Can we all get off a [REDACTED]? Cuz I just █████ and she FUCKING NDA in the butt. #
• WTF with Obama voting yes on FIS… ZOMG!! IPHONE 2.0! IPHONE 2.0! #

• While the pundits try to figure out if Obama is flip-flopping, I am certain McCain wears socks with sandals. #
• “Rap band” Aww. How *adorable*. #
• Aliases that didn’t make the cut:
  1. 2Pak
  2. Kimche Jigga
  3. Korean Abdul-Jabbar #
• @awryone No, yeah. That’s what I’m sayin’. Mad Street^1^ cred. Escalater, holmes.

  ^1^see Sesame #

• Volcanos on Mercury? Seems redundant. Planet FAIL. #
• retweet @ejacqui http://rim.jobs/ #
• Don’t fave _my_ rimjob retweet! Fave @ejacqui! #
• “Is America ready for a Black President?” Well, I don’t know. Does America _deserve_ a Black President? #

• Get your hot fax action in _Hot FaXXX_ - http://www.vimeo.com/1299315 #
• HA! I know *people* with more “Real Fruit Juice” than LifeSavers Gummies Wild Berry Sours. #
• Watching _Indiana Jones and the Return of the Jedi_ on the Old Spice/Scione Channel. #
• 3/2/1/Contact #
• Surprised Microsoft hasn’t sold ad placement in Solitaire… yet. That’s just leaving money on the table. #
• Y’know that scene from _Something About Mary_ with the balls and the zipper? Ouch. Right? I just did the same thing in button fly jeans. #
• @aedison and that’s exactly why I do use one. When the robots take over in the foretold uprising, I want them to know I’m a friendly human. #
• I think @EffingBoring’s street name should be Dainty Sensibilities. #
• I feel this sleeveless TAZ shirt really pairs well with my bluetooth headset. It’s a look that says “I’m a folksy technology wiz. Stud.” #

• Why, after a great holiday, at 2:45 AM PST do I have the sneaking suspicion that work is going to suck tomor… er, later? #
• First day back from the holiday and Doug is being Doug already. #
• “Now that’s a spicy capicola!” Is that racist or a compliment? #

• @nick link? #
• Jenkem? I barely knew ‘em.
  RIP Jenkem - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenkem #
• @nick PHOTOSHOPPED! #
• “You might be a redneck if Kenny Rogers is giving you health insurance advice.” - My redneck joke dream #
• @keepkalm Hey it was a *dream* redneck joke. Accuracy and actual funny are neither suggested or implied. #
• @jimray twigga please. That one is CC http://tinyurl.com/2qn665 . Besides I bite yo shit all the time. #
• Like Dianetics, @erikprice, @Tony_D, @marissaneave will leave you in stitches. #
• @erikprice Saw a “Dewayne’s World” tattoo on some massive cleave once. So beautiful, I cried tattoo tears. #
• “¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!” Too true.
  Speedy Gonzales (1953-2008) http://tinyurl.com/6rfd5w #
• @FarkerPeaceboy Debe ser. Está en Wikipedia con una conexión a Pheltup. #

• “So, bravo dead cracker.” should be on a t-shirt. Via @textism #
• @zulh “back in my day we ate bugs for street cred.” - Sweetness #
• Tonight would be the wrong night to fuck with ‘Merica. #
• @StellarSamurai I’m reading 10 now! I resisted Fables at first then my comic shop owner friend insisted. Glad he did. #
• Biscuits and gravy; FUCK YEAH! #
• One week later: When I ask Sweets anything about WALL·E she first warbles “WALL·E” before answering. It’s that good. #

• “… to never hear those options again, please hang up and cut your losses.” #
• @califmom That supply of melatonin was… wow. Just wow. Thanks #
• @SuperSanko uhm, thanks for trying? #
• Herbert, J. Edgar. Whatever. They both sucked. HAHAHA. OMG

  i suck. #

• Some of you should really groom your Followers. It’s starting to smell a bit webcocky <whisper>down there</whisper>. #
• Anyone else find the timing of Jesse Helms and Bozo the Clown’s deaths a little to coincidental? #
• “Former Senator and Bozo, Jesse Helms Dead” “Former Senator, Jesse Helms Dead Bozo” “Former Senator Bozo Dead” #
• @jackholt @Remiel Exactly! #
• Signing the Declaration of Chemical Dependence. #

• Well Sonics it took a while but you finally got rid of Wally Walker. Good Job! #
• @relo I can’t believe there wasn’t more fight for the only pro sport to bring Seattle a world championship. #
• “Wok out with your cock out!” Now THAT’s hardcore. #
• Hey @ylnt! Baby on a Dog should have a “Bottomless wok chef or its free!” promotional for the grand opening. #
• Doing the Wop.
  … As in the dance. #
• This year they call 20 ought 8
  I put on one mo year and a little weight.
  I met some tweeps of which I’m a fan
  no better gift fo dis ol man. #
• Hope to meet all y’all some day.
  (except scary, evil clown man)
  Thanks,
  SB #
• Lightning! #
• @wilburly kimche jigae (or ramen) and grape soda is my all time favorite. Just is. Thanks. #
• Drunk DMs. A fucking *poem*. Oh, L. Ron, why do I make the same mistakes over and over? #
• @Moltz its in the bottom drawer of your desk behind the mouthwash and deoderant. #
• A prophet tweets among us. http://twitter.com/Remiel/statuses/767677210 #
• “My god, it’s getting so a guy can’t have a vivid and weird fantasy life without being accused of being a stalker.” - Herbert Hoover #
• Hey anyone know where I can get a kilo of powdered melatonin? I got an idea. #
• In addition to the powdered melatonin I’ll need two, maybe three Columbians. One must be large. Man this is going to be soooo good. #
• At this point it would be easier to comb my lawn than to cut it. #
• Yep. It sucks that state employees have to work on 7/3. Now shuddup and sell me the fucking booze. I have the day off. #

• 0/0/0/0/.0001 - 1 Cock Pushup Challenge #
• I think I’ll wear my birthday suit today. #
• Gasoline should just be measured in ounces and keys. #
• Hey Newsrooms, it’s not a “conversation” if you are trying to control, monetize (ugh) or act as its gatekeeper. Oh, and poop. #
• Seattle took $75M to settle with the Sonics. Do not fave this tweet. #
• FUCK YOU GRAVY ROBBERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #

• I heard that south of the equator the dutchie is passed to the right hand side. #
• Ah, yes. The late afternoon reply-to-all/remove-me-from-the-list cluster fuck. Do we need e-mail classes, people? Really? #
• By my count, the word “credenza” appears in _Getting Things Don’t_ seventy two times. #
• “Let’s bounce.” - Roman Polanski #
• Had a bad dream where I saw Mel kiss Flo’s grits.

  Still can’t shake it. #

• OH: What do you mean we don’t get Canada Day off. It’s our largest state. #
• @FarkerPeaceboy Don’t make fun. Meteorologists are our first defense against the scourge of the Comet Empire. #
• Found out the hard way that “soup to nuts” isn’t a good thing AT ALL. #
• I’d pay good money to see an @Moltz vs. @lonelysandwich boob-punch fight. #
• @lonelysandwich Thank you very much but, uhh, answer the question. Will you boob-punch fight @Moltz? The people demand an answer. #
• @kvanh For reference http://xrl.us/boobpunch #

• Drinks with @strutting and everything seemed right with the world. Did you know he doesn’t like webcocks? #
• @nevenmrgan oh no. I have a friend that may be able to put you up tonight. Psyche!!!! I’m not falling for that again. Nice try. #
• Once in a blue moon you scratch nuts so well your eyes roll up into your head. Well, WALL•E’s not quite that good. Solid B. #
• Balmer (via SeaTimes)”… one of the questions every kid asks in life is, ‘Can I be intense and mature?’”- Like a mullet or a red 76 ‘Vette. #
• ‘Can I be intense and mature’ - Like a hurricane. Hold on. Hurricanes are raunchy right? How about a *Norse Thunder God*. #
• For the kids, how are you intense and mature? #
• @ShuffShuff Thank you for taking the risk of sharing that. For that you deserve a ROUND OF APPLAUSE [clapping in a circular motion] GET IT? #
• @Remiel And now they will expect the laughter. LOOSE LIPS #
• retweet @keepkalm “dudes named Ballmer should never refer to themselves as “intense and mature” unless they are on myspace” #
• While heroine addiction is a serious matter, I laugh at the though of an improperly tied arm side knot in the surgical tubing. *THWAPP!* #
• FUCKE ME!! #
• While *heroine* addiction is a serious matter, I laugh at the though of an improperly tied arm side knot in the surgical tubing. *THWAPP!* #
• Last tweet presented unedited as the twit never intended. #

Last tweet presented unedited as the twit never intended.