Horrible Tree



Horrible Tree, originally uploaded by SeoulBrother.

  • CONFESSION: I still haven’t seen My Big Fat Slumdog Wedding. #
  • BSG SPOILER: Ringo is the fifth Cylon. #
  • Remember when CNN played music videos? #
  • Apparently I have a musical hemorrhoid. #
  • _American Ninja_+_Manimal_=@nevenmrgan. Amirite or am I right? And don’t get me started on @antichrista. How awesome is she? #
  • With all the controversy surrounding him, I still can’t believe the U.S. Senate agreed to seat Plaxico Burris. CHECK THE SAFETY THIS TIME,YO #
  • I still think it’s funny that before we found out they we made of pixels, we thought dinosaurs were made of clay. lol. #
  • Hey, Portland! Know where I can get a vial of heroin? “Vial,” right? It’s been a while since I shot up some Menendez Brothers. #
  • I get kinda sad watching old _Seinfeld_ episodes. I mean, Richard Lewis was really at the top of his game back then. Sad, just sad. #
  • Anthropologie: The official wardrobe of Audrey Hepburn fanfic writers everwhere. #
  • PETA’s move to rename “fish” to “seakittens” is genius. I predict explosive growth in the microwavable seakittenstick mkt. Also, new dance. #
  • The cool thing about meeting other Tweeps is that I don’t have to explain this Chronicles of Riddick cut-off T or chaps. They just get it. #
  • I’m calling my haircut the “Tony Brown Journal.” LOOK IT UP! #
  • My thanks to @jimray for not stealing my jokes. #
  • Aw, who am *I* kidding? @jimray is so funny he steals his own jokes. Then I steal them and go home and eat Spaghetti-O’s from the can. #
  • This new French Press is turning me into the kind of person I hate– awake. #
  • I’m not a religious man but I thank my ancestors every time I use my opposable thumb. #
  • “Gov. Blagojavich! What are you going to do now that you’re impeached?” “The only thing I know how; I’m gonna continue to keep on rockin’.” #
  • Hey, @byx Wasn’t the season 7 story arc for _Oz_ #
  • Tonight, Sweets and I burn our rejectors in effigy. And drink. As god intended. #
  • “All suckas know how to do is be hatin.’” #
  • @LILWAYNESWORLD word. #
  • Sometimes I’m shocked by how much I actually know about my day job. #
  • In my mind, before becoming a senator, Dick Durbin produced hit records w/Run DMC, Beastie Boys and Red Hot Chili Peppers. In my mind. #
  • When explaining her research, Sweets uses terms like “DV, chrome box alpha, homoskedasticity.” Dunno what they mean but my boner sure does. #
  • I’m told it’s actually “Cronbach’s alpha.” Double-SCHWING! BOI-OI-OI-OING! #
  • Pussy wheat. See. #
  • Joe the Plumber is about as qualified to be a war corespondent as he is to be a licensed plumber. #
  • From now on, I’ll be using the lesser known North American translation for bukkake: “You Can’t Do That on Television.”

    I don’t know. #

  • Oooh I think it’s *very* obvious that I work out six or seven times a day. #
  • That new Lincoln MKS is just pretending to be futuristic. I suppose it’s not the least bit gay, either. #ylnt,sf #
  • Soap opera’s on tv. Boy, those people have issues, none of which are related to the economy. #
  • If I had to do it all over again, my b-boy name would be SuavĂ© Suave. #
  • @nevenmrgan I figure I don’t have to read DWF because of the @birdhouseapp beta release notes. #
  • As bad as this economy is I still give 18 to 24 months before I can get a loan for a truly crackin’ hoax.

    “Crackin’”? I feel so old. #

  • I really enjoyed Nip/Tuck better when it was about the destruction of the American family rather than reckless douchebaggy plastic surgeons. #
  • It probably goes without saying that you’re going to say it anyways. #
  • I just drank fresh, all natural, organic guava juice from a box.

    WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE. #

  • THE WIRE FANS! http://tinyurl.com/9zofjr Skillz-5 Seasons of The Wire in 5 min. Rap up. (via @qoolquest) #
  • I still hand craft the complimentary close and signature line above my auto sig in e-mails because it adds such a nice personal touch. #
  • Why do I still handcraft the complimentary close and signature line above my auto sig in e-mails?Because it adds such a nice personal touch? #
  • Hey, you can say anything minutes before the FAVRD roll over. #
  • Can you Macworld people hold it down? Please show us who aren’t there the courtesy I would not if I were. #
  • “Does this already have a name? If not I call it a Tom Yum Collins.” -Sweetness
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/seoulbrother/3172955492/ #
  • Everybody at MacWorld, look under your seats. It’s a free 17″ MBP battery! And some gum and an old scratch ticket. #
  • News from Macworld spotty. iPhoto 09: Why would I want to apply a facial to all my photos? That’s weird. Like Japanese game show weird. #
  • I bet you’d have more support for your cause if you changed it to “Smoke a bowl for Nat King Cole.” That guy makes everything seem fine. #
  • For a moment, I was the only one in the theater waiting for Doubt to start. Then Sweets joined me and we were two. #
  • _Doubt_- The moral of the story? Black people get screwed. #
  • I’m ordering 11 Trojan Vibrating Touch Fingertip Massagers. One for each finger. #
  • Comparing things that never get old to Dick Clark (before the stroke) never gets old, like Dick Clark (before the stroke.) #
  • When you trip over the power chord w/o killing your laptop, what style do you sing “Mag Sa-a-aafe” ? Me? It varies but now, Freddie Mercury. #
  • Last tweet corrected, although some do consider Freddie Mercury to be a genre. #
  • I’m doing that hip writing thing in public, acting annoyed at conversations and old man playing piano. SHORTER: My shift at Chucky Cheese. #
  • Spent New Years in the underwater city of Funklantis. Had a BLAST until the Rapture. To be fair, I love this white suit. And I can sing. #
  • Okay. I made that last one up but seriously, them white heaven suits are tight.

    Yep, drinking and shit. #

  • I did make a meal so good tonight, that I could taste the orgasms hours before they happened. #
  • Jeez. I’m still writing “2007″ on my checks. #
  • THEY’RE CYBER-CHECKS, PEOPLE AND I WWW-FAX THEM TO MY CHIA VETERINARIAN. WITH LASERS. #
  • Last night’s chipotle butternut squash chili was a hit. I think I’ll call it ChipButtSqua Chili 2.0. Sounds authentic with a modern twist. #
  • The Fathers watch football and talk stats. I sit quietly reading comics. Nothing’s changed, only now I can read their minds. #
  • Although, nothing makes me more proud to be an American than seeing the Cowboys get both sides of their ass handed to them. #
  • OH: I can tell you why that toilet is jacked. A guy that big has problems. Orifice problems. #
  • Douchebags used to bother me until I realized that, in my life, I’ll have deeper relationships and had to spend less money on ass. #
  • I dreamt that the key to comedy was a well trained hawk. The rest of the dream was too awesome for your Earth minds. #
  • I didn’t notice it before, but the Ford Probe posseses truely iconic lines, evokative of Big Auto’s suppository era. #
  • @emilybrianna Anal Aztek? Is that a thing? #
  • @emilybrianna Anal LeBaron. #
  • Oh hell. Anal Mustang. #
  • If the events in Mumbai have taught me anything, it’s how to pronounce Bombay. #
  • Thank G(g)od(s) there’s a lull between major religious holidays so we can go back to being major dicks to each other. #
  • Started playing some Ragtime.

    “Where’d you get that? Wooy Allen?”

    She cuts me so deep. #

  • Toffifay is the gateway candy to adulthood. #
  • The ladies just started talking about bull penis. Turn knob to 11. #
  • The neighbor lady, the shark trainer, is wearing the mother of all Christmas sweaters.
    YOU say something to her. She swims with sharks. #
  • The early bird gets the Boxing Day joke. I’ll just be over here doing some boring-ass Kwanzaa shit. #
  • OMG you guyz! Hulu has _A Very Urkel Kwanzaa_ from 1992 starring Jaleel White, Melanie Griffith, Sidney Poitier, Steven Seagal, and more! #
  • Oh man, RIP Lady Eloise. #
  • My Christmas Wish: to be the linguist of record at a lunch meeting between Mohammed Ali and Ozzy Osbourne. With Sweets.

    Happy Holidays #

  • Celebrating with a traditional kamala root ceremony. Gods bless.

    Oops. Wrong holiday.

    But, whatever will I do with all this kamala root? #

  • Don’t worry. I kicked my own ass and took my lunch money for that last tweet. But I’ll go ahead and say it; I can’t wait for BSG to return. #
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