SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-27

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/27/2008 - Wednesday
  • If only there was a way I could tell if I ate asparagus tonight. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-26

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/26/2008 - Tuesday
  • Senator Kennedy is doing the “rap hand.” #
  • Jim Leach should just start singing “The Rainbow Connection” because that’s all I’m hearing now. #
  • Found myself half listening to Michelle Obama but moved to tears by the significance of the occasion. #
  • Sorry @clint. Just a little emotional. #
  • I need to find my inner groove. http://xrl.us/GrooveFighters #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-25

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/25/2008 - Monday
  • Declaring the SB Men’s annual hunting trip a success. We bagged the bottom of a bottle of rum and a full rack of beer. #Why_Monday_sucks #
  • “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble finding your pipe here.” Sales lingo cracks me up. #
  • OMG guys, I’m getting smarter. I can tell because my forehead is growing. It’s either that or… Nope. Smarter. Definitely fucking smarter. #
  • To anti-Mac, IT bigots that claim Macs “won’t work here” based on 10yo half-truths and bad info — Look down. Your ITT Tech is showing. #
  • “I’ve been in IT for XX years and Macs just don’t work for what we do.” “What is it you do.” “Spreadsheets, _Office_, e-mail” “… ” #
  • Now hiring: Abrasive yet passive aggressive know it all who confuses arbitrary limitations w/ skill. Ponytail and cellphone holster a plus. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-24

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/24/2008 - Sunday
  • Hi neighbor. What’s that? The nunchucks? Oh nothing. I’m just making a video for one of my internet friends. #
  • Your Satchmo impression sucks. Even if you’re my brother.
    I love you, man. #
  • Dad (75): So I says to my friend, “Say Roy. You ever eat pussy?” Roy says, “Naw man. I’m a vegatarian.” #
  • Pops has already put babies into 3 beer fraus and it’s only the bottom of the 2nd inning. Broheim is paying the families hush money. Oh, dad #
  • @awryone Un-fucking-follow. You hotta watch that show like pr0n. Fast forward to the breakin’ bits. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-23

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/23/2008 - Saturday
  • Seriously though. When you signed up to receive the V.P. notice, what time did you expect a brother to send a text? #
  • I just brushed a whole new dog out of my current dog. Also, itchy. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-22

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/22/2008 - Friday
  • Why… WHY didn’t anyone tell me about Sho ‘Nuff? RIP, Shogun of Harlem http://xrl.us/ShoNuff . Thanks, @crispycracka for the heads up. #
  • The Man™ works in nefarious ways. #
  • Sunday, Pops, my brother and I are going to the M’s game. A) do they still play in Seattle? B) is it too early to start drinking? #
  • NO, I’m not LISTENING to _Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In_ by The 5th Dimension. I’m krumping it. #
  • @phillygirl ♪ Hilarious, Hil-arious / Hilarious, Hil-ariouuuuuuusssss☆♒ #
  • What the *fuck* is Alan Jackson doing in my iTunes? #
  • What a day. Conference calls, store, mailbox, dry cleaning, lunch AND I just found my pick where I left it this morning. In my hair. #
  • Is it time to stop fucking around on the Internet and go home, yet? #
  • @EffingBoring “Obama’s Bayh for V.P. Pick” #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-21

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/21/2008 - Thursday
  • @Mike_FTW Worked out well for Jesse Owens. #
  • Hey! Where’s the latest @ylnt? I’m not paying you for this shit. #
  • I thought I knew you. I thought you understood me. I thought… look Last.fm says we just aren’t going to work out. These slow jams are 4 me #
  • Even in a digital format Barry White’s songs have the faint smell of activator, shag carpet and Courvoisier. Wait, that’s my upper lip. #
  • I’m always suprised at how often I misspell suprise. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-20

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/20/2008 - Wednesday
  • If I were Sasquatch, I too would hide from a society that didn’t see a problem in calling me “Bigfoot.” Who’s the asshole now? #
  • @kellydeal Hail to the rise of the Idiot. Have you seen The Mighty Boosh? You’re missing out if not. #
  • Ha hahahaha… ha ha. Nothing like a few racial slurs between friends. #
  • Hulu.com is great… on YouTube. #
  • You’re the type of guy that gets suspicious / I’m the type of guy that says “The puddin’ is delicious.” #
  • The problem with using coffee as a force multiplier for tasks is that there are always a lot of civilian casualties. #ooh_shiny #
  • Eating a motherfuckin’ sandwich. Know dat, know dat. Betta recognize. 2K aught 8, on the real. Yum, twiggas. #
  • @ShuffShuff Scrivner or Twitterrific #
  • Today’s Neko Case Pillow Fight brought to you by @Moltz, @fedge and These Strange Feelings. #
  • My neighbor thought it was strange that I wanted to borrow a cup of baby oil. I just don’t get non-Twitter people. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-19

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/19/2008 - Tuesday
  • There hasn’t been a Monday night this awesome since the _The Thorn Birds_ aired. Right guys? #
  • “Nobody noticed my manga pants.” — Ziggy #
  • What the Bounty paper towel ads don’t understand is that while 1 sheet may do, men need a _minimum_ of 2 so they don’t get their hands icky. #
  • @gruber Wal-Mart smells like Little Rock, China. #
  • Dear iLounge, please consider using the following template for iPhone/iPod case reviews. “It’s a case.” — SB #
  • @Moltz I don’t get it. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-18

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/18/2008 - Monday
  • Enjoying some green olive appetizers. They could use a little more martini sauce, though. *hic*

    BARTENDER. #

  • @OblongRobber ATTRIBUTION for that quote, please. #
  • @OblongRobber This is Twitter, not FOX. #
  • Follow @shoesonwrong, she’s awesome. Wait. Crap. I should have logged in as @hotdogsladies or the internet before I said that. Never mind. #
  • @nevenmrgan Tell him it’s for the clean shaven set. #
  • Whenever I lose (top 5) at Mario Kart, I thank God that Craig Sager isn’t interviewing me. #
  • While I appreciate the much needed rain, being a Pac North Westerner, I fear that it won’t stop until next June. #
  • Right now, I’d rather be judged by the color of my skin than the contents of my refrigerator. Yeesh. #
  • Totally misjudged @nevenmrgan’s arrival. Barely had time to get out of my clothes and put on a robe. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-17

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/17/2008 - Sunday
  • In the West, NBC is displaying the “LIVE” bug during the womens marathon. So again, you liberal East Coast eletists are lying to us. #
  • These women… don’t have belly buttons. #
  • @tj ducking elitists #
  • @luckyviking bless her heart. #
  • Listening to Costas and the NBC commentators, it’s obvious which subsidiary took the brunt of the layoffs at Sheinhardt Wig Company. #
  • One day, I’ll tell my grandkids I had to refresh Twitter to get live Olympic updates from @gruber. They’ll laugh and forget to change me. #
  • “With pride, dignity and grace.” I repeated to myself as I squat-walked from one bathroom (no T.P.) to the other.”PRIDE DIGNITY GRA… FUCK” #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-16

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/16/2008 - Saturday
  • Mariah Carey’s nipple slipped and all anyone could talk about was how stoned out of its mind tit was. I mean ‘it was.’ ‘It.’ #
  • Friday night: Laundry, Chardonnay and _Murder She Wrote_. Oh, Angela you foxy minx you. #
  • Home Depot claims to employ more Olympic hopefuls than any company in the world. Explains why they’re so damn hard to catch. #
  • @OblongRobber Oh no. That’s how it totally happened. Right after someone shot and posted a Bono nipple slip. #
  • It’s really freaky watching the men’s USA basketball team actually play as a team. #
  • Those M&M Premium commercials are targeted at the Elliot Spitzer demographic. #
  • Which one is the good cholesterol again? HCL, LCL, LDS? I think I had the bad one for breakfast. What about hepatitis? #
  • @Tony_D What? #
  • @verdandi It was sooo good, though. That might explain why I wanted to marry every piece. #
  • The BangBros could make a killing at the Olympics. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-15

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/15/2008 - Friday
  • “I’m going to do you.” He said. “You’re sooo dirty.” His words hung.
    Laundry stared back, at first defiant but she knew she couldn’t resist. #
  • Mario Kart and Maker’s Mark. If they aren’t doing a cross promo now they’re fools. #
  • New followers, please consider following the following: @domnit, @franktheguy, @emilybrianna, @FarkerPeaceBoy, @awryone, @tj and @rafitorres #
  • @dmoren A pimp’s pimpnitude is not reflectified by fly (yes, you can say fly) headgearation. No, pimpnitude is in the heart and in the soul. #
  • @dmoren WTF do you mean by “hard?” Dude. #
  • @thedayhascome Why don’t we find out. The usual glory hole in 10? #
  • People in glass houses should set up sweet grow operations. #
  • @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge @fedge (not all of us were mentioned in Gawker) @fedge. #
  • Man, I haven’t felt this much love since daddy said it was for my own good. Right back at you, Twitter. #
  • Today’s tweets are like the outro track on a hip-hop album. “Shout out to my all homies locked up in prison and the entire @ylnt crew.PACE.” #
  • @luckyviking to paraphrase @CcSteff - Some days you’re the balls and some days you’re the sweat. Don’t you just love the PNW? #
  • “”Jumping my shark”" #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-14

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/14/2008 - Thursday
  • @sendchocolate Thank you. Thank you. #
  • Me: Just so you know, I’m avoiding the basketball shoe section for your sake.
    Sweets: Huh, that’s funny.Do you even play basketball anymore? #
  • Hanging out with @Moltz. He’s showing off his new amateur colonoscopy kit. I tell you, everybody at the bar loves this guy. He’s a charmer. #
  • @buzz @gruber Have either of you read _Gotham Central_? The Dark Knight really nailed the look, feel and tone of GC. #
  • @scuzzlebot The funny thing is about Ewoks and vials of crack. #
  • The “Exotic Dancers” advertised at a MO. truck-stop-strip-club were probably less Josephine Baker and more blue skin and 6 toes. I heard. #
  • Scoop scoop bleedop bleeda bleeda dee-dah day <pause> BLEEE-DA BLEE-DA. <jazzhands>Yeahhhh</jazzhands> More coffee please. #
  • @shoesonwrong Nerf Cage Fights are a sure winner. #
  • @dmoren My worry with messing with time is that Cher would find a way to take back those words that hurt me. and she’d stay. brrgh. #
  • For me watching swim races is like watching a controlled forward moving drowning. I do not like these kinds of water sports. #
  • “It’s the fiercest female foursome since Sex and the City.” — Review of _Beverly Hills Chihuahua_ #
  • Moltz Disclosure: In college, John had “BOBA FETT” tattooed across his abdomen. He wasn’t drunk. #
  • What kind of world is this where my 18mo. old nephew will never know life without the Internet but may have to use a fucking fax machine? #
  • I tried making my Hentai avatar but can’t get the alien-tentacle, facehole violation quite right.
    The batwing ears work. So, there’s that. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-13

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/13/2008 - Wednesday
  • You: Pretty smile, laughing at in-flight movie. Me: Pretty sure you farted on take-off. Prove me wrong… or right. *wink* #
  • If I stare at this nondescript receipt a little longer, the expense justification will appear like an rad 3D orca. #lunch?parking?drinks?wtf #
  • My sweetened green tea is sweetened with “other natural flavors.” Probably not baby cheeks, unicorn kisses or Beyoncé’s panties though. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-12

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/12/2008 - Tuesday
  • Took advantage of relatively low gas prices in MO and drove over 200 miles at ~90 mph. Doing my part to line Bush/Cheney’s golden parachute. #
  • Today I saw a sign on the highway for a protest I can actually get behind — “END ROAD CONSTRUCTION.” Fuckin’ A #
  • Today I saw a protest sign on the highway for a cause I can actually get behind — “END ROAD CONSTRUCTION.” Fuckin’ A. #
  • Springield, MO. orders its hipsters from the JC Penny’s catalog. #
  • Plane leaves in 4 hrs. GPS says it’ll take 3.5+ hours to get there. Sadly, this is as close to starring in an action flick I’ll get. #
  • Thanks for the plug, Mann. My inbox is fucked.
    Job security much? #
  • Nervewracking drive at speeds up to 100. My plan to get put of a ticket was to pretend I was Obama, Will Smith or MJ depending. #
  • I could bring home the gold in Olympic flight catching. #
  • Ducking autocorrect #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-11

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/11/2008 - Monday
  • The way these female gymnasts are falling, there’s going to be a lot of cutting tonight. #
  • My heart goes out to little Caylee, the only missing girl in the country. #
  • I picture Isaac Hayes’ Hot Buttered Soul flying around the universe, sexing up all the foxy nebulas. L.Ron’s taking the leftovers. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-10

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/10/2008 - Sunday
  • Unhappy emoticon #
  • Just kidding. Happy emoticon. #
  • Picture a 2 year-old with a brand new, noisy fire truck. Nothing gives the child more joy than that siren. This is Chicago, city of sirens. #
  • So relieved (and disappointed) that Olympic sculling isn’t Olympic skulling. #
  • I always feel awkward flossing in public restrooms. People look at me like I’m testing new anon airport bathroom sex signals. I am but still #
  • Dressed fresh with my ankle socks / threw on the Bluetooth and my all blue Crocks #
  • Dear Cell Phone Guy, are you naturally that douchey or do you take suppliments? #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-09

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/9/2008 - Saturday
  • No. Not Bernie Mac. #
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SeoulBrother’s Tweets for 2008-08-08

By SeoulBrother #1 | 8/8/2008 - Friday
  • “Oh please. Every grave in journalism is shallow.” #
  • I’m <pause> gonna miss your lovin’ / the minute you walk out that do-or / Please #dontgo / #dontgooooooooo-oh oh / #dontgo away/he … #
  • INTERIOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR / I’LL DIARRHEA NOT NOW, MAYBE LATER #dontgo #
  • Why are all these silver shirts *so* tight?! Don’t they make these for *real* people? #
  • White linen pants. Black thong. I’m looking gooood. I’m feeling bad. #
  • How much love can a Ken doll give? Not enough. Not enough. #
  • Oh, and Russia invaded Georgia. Up next; Hot Ken doll sex. #
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