• The Fathers watch football and talk stats. I sit quietly reading comics. Nothing’s changed, only now I can read their minds. #
  • Although, nothing makes me more proud to be an American than seeing the Cowboys get both sides of their ass handed to them. #
  • OH: I can tell you why that toilet is jacked. A guy that big has problems. Orifice problems. #
  • Douchebags used to bother me until I realized that, in my life, I’ll have deeper relationships and had to spend less money on ass. #
  • I dreamt that the key to comedy was a well trained hawk. The rest of the dream was too awesome for your Earth minds. #


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